


Take the lead

by Baobei (NemiMurasakino)



Series: Racing Against Time [4]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Blood, Blood and Injury, Crimes & Criminals, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lee Felix & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Siblings, Mentioned Kim Woojin, Not Beta Read, Online Friendship, Pre-Time Skip, Self-Harm, Touch-Starved Yang Jeongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27867493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemiMurasakino/pseuds/Baobei
Summary: ―〖 CHAPTER 04 〗―Bang Chan wasn't expecting to find the unconscious teenager soaked with blood in his bed when he went up to bring him food. Memories coming back, memories he hoped he’d forgotten a long time ago. . .He simply hopes that the group will hold on and that there will be no loss. He came here for a mission in a year, not to babysit, and they already have a wounded man under their arms.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Kim Woojin
Series: Racing Against Time [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037253
Kudos: 10





	Take the lead

**Author's Note:**

> ― TRIGGER WARNING : Mention of self-harm and past suicide attempts. Please do stay safe in your reading. ♡

**♢ ― CHAPTER FOUR ― ♢**

**Take the lead**

* * *

The expression of coldness that generally painted his face had changed considerably, drowning with the anxiety that bathed in the deep waters of the eyes of the only adult present in the manor. 

_How the hell did they've got to this ?_

The first thing he did was to grab a piece of cloth that he tore, applying it to the wound the youngest had on his arm firmly. Tying it with the hope of avoiding a major blood loss as he brought him closer, sliding his arms behind his knees and between his two shoulders to lift him up and rush to his own bathroom. Avoiding an unnecessary detour into the boy’s personal one, not even knowing if he had the necessary equipment. 

❝ Hang on, ❞ he grumbled under his breath.

* * *

_The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the light that was far too clear to be natural, frowning and squinting firmly together. His head hurt horribly and he could not remember what had just happened. Had he passed out, falling asleep?_

_Forcing himself to open an eye first, struggling so that his eyelid would not return to hide his sight to escape the blinding light. . . Before exclaiming a surprised sigh._

_‘I’m not at the mansion anymore? What happened?' he asked himself, observing the white walls around him and the white bed in which he lay._

_The moment he was living gave him a bad feeling of déjà vu making him frown, only to whine when his headache only increased. Closing his eyes for a few moments by bringing a hand to his head, trying to focus on his memories. How did he get here?_

_When his eyelids opened again, it was only so that his orbs would grow bigger. His left forearm was covered with fine, snow-white bandages with a gauze visible below, slightly stained with dark red. He winced, noticing an intravenous infusion inserted into his elbow, making him gently lay his arm back against the mattress at the sides of his body._

_He startled, however, when he heard the noise - which he had not even realized a few moments ago - rising on the other side of the door. One of the voices was familiar to him, twisting the features of his face which were previously relaxed by medicine and fatigue._

_❝ Ma’am, you should- ❞ a young woman implored before a woman suddenly opened the door of his room, alarming Seungmin._

_What could she possibly be doing here ?_

_He stopped all the questions that passed through his brain, realizing that his lips were not moving, as if he was caught in his head with the only possibility of observing his entourage. He could not interact, merely trembling in his bed when the nurse glanced at him and came near him to check his arm and transfusion._

_The woman behind her put her handbag and jacket over the chair by the door, tapping her phone furiously while glaring at him._

_❝ I’m going to have to change your gauze, don’t move too much, okay ? ❞ the gentle voice of the young woman whispered, offering him a reassuring smile to which he knew nothing but to respond with a docile nod of the head._

_Breathing a little louder at the unpleasant burning sensation on his forearm, he gently lowered his eyes to check the severity of the damages. . ._

_His usual soft skin was strewn with cuts, some visibly deeper than others, but in a limited amount. He raised his eyebrows before reaching out when he heard the displeased and offended rustle of the woman behind them, automatically lowering his eyes elsewhere. Avoiding at all costs to cross her eyes._

_The young woman offered him another smile by giving him the glass of water which she had taken with her, thanking her by bringing it to his lips when she began to write notes on her notebook. The girl then turned to be face to face with the woman in front of her, visibly intimidated by their size difference but forced herself to smile as she pressed her pencil and papers against her chest._

_❝ Your son will be fine, ❞ she spoke, even though she suspected that the woman in front of her was not worried about the boy’s health, going on. ❝ He needs to rest and change his bandages regularly. I plan to share his file with one of our specialists- ❞_

_❝ We already have a Psychologist and Doctor for him. ❞ ended up authoritatively pronouncing the brunette, arms folded in front of her while shooting the poor nurse with her dark eyes. She licked her lips under anxiety, turning her amber gaze again on her papers before raising her eyes to the woman. ❝ Doctor Lee ? ❞_

_❝ Exactly. ❞_

_Seungmin listened to them chatting while having his gaze lost in the void, feeling useless not to be able to intervene._

_He knew this scenario, he had heard those words before. Was he dreaming? Most likely._

_The discussion ends with a polite greeting from the lady, coming out of the room as she closed the door behind her. As soon as Seung raised his eyes, opening his lips to speak, a hand came to smack on his cheek. Turning his head under the impact with round eyes, a red trace already growing on his skin._

_❝ How dare you ? ❞ her voice was much more outraged than worried, making him laugh mentally. Since when was she really worried about him ?_

_❝ Seungmin, do you only realize your actions ? You have everything you want, you live without problems. You study at a prominent school, you eat well, you are served, housed and fed. Is that how you thank us ? ❞ he frowned but didn't bother to answer._

_❝ Yah, Seungmin, ❞ she barked to capture his attention, sighing with impatience as he kept his head turned away from her._

_❝ Is that how you want to leave this world ? By bleeding to death in the bathroom, where your sister can find you? Is this really the last image you wanted to leave her ? ❞ he bit his lip, thinking of his sister. It’s true, she was the one who had called the ambulance holding the inert body of her bleeding little brother against her. A vague memory of the cries of his eldest, shouting for help on the phone, proceeding up to his head, his features changing for pure sorrow._

_The woman noticed and sighed, regaining her composure when she sat on the edge of the bed. Seungmin followed her path with his gaze, having not moved an inch as he raised his eyes towards her, reaching her gaze. Only when she was calmed from her crisis._

_❝ She’s fine, she’s calmed down, ❞ his heart calmed, nodding. ❝ Your father wouldn’t be proud of you, Seung. ❞_

_❝ What’s the use, he's not there anymore. ❞_

_She frowned, anger changing once again the features of her face before they both heard the door of the room slowly open. When he looked up, he captured the worried glance of a young woman seven years older than him. She opened the door immediately when she saw that the boy was awake, hastening to walk up to him by wrapping her arms around his shoulders._

_❝ I'm fine, ❞ reassured her by raising a hand to caress her hair, only to hear her sad voice._

_❝ Seungmin-ah, you are not fine. Who would be and do such a sad thing ? ❞ pronounced the young woman, taking the face of her younger brother into her hands as her eyes were wet with tears. He felt his heart pinch, arching his eyebrows, letting her examine him freely. She took him again in her arms, laying the tall brunette’s head on her shoulder, caressing his nape gently._

_He closed his eyes, relaxing with the reassuring caresses that his big sister offered him. Even being able to promise her that he would not do it again, that he would do anything to keep the smile in his presence. She was hurt, who would want to see her younger sibling in such a situation ?_

_A bell rang, followed by a sigh from his mother._

_❝ Your brother is on the phone, ❞_

* * *

❝ Yah, Seungmin, ❞ he heard as an echo, groaning when he felt the caresses and cuddles being pulled away from him. 

❝ Get up, come on. ❞

The voice resounded in his head, the features of his face contorting under the pain that his body finally realized feeling and the hum in his head. _That voice. . . it was Chan’s, wasn’t it ? It was just a terrible nightmare ? So why was the pain still there ?_

The first thing he saw, after getting used to the dazzling light, was Chan with blood on his cheek. Widening his eyes. 

❝ _Shi_ \- w- What happened ? ❞ asked the youngest in a weak voice, but the oldest kept him against the wall. ❝ You tell me, ❞

Seungmin recognized. . . worry, in his voice? He was surprised, even amazed, wondering what kind of scenario might have happened so that the oldest shows emotions.

Carefully observing his surroundings, he recognized the common decor of the manor's bathrooms, blowing. He was back in the present, not in some hospital in Seoul with his mother and sister. 

Sad to no longer be in the reassuring and warm embrace, however, reassured to be away from the hostility of his mother. 

His eyes widened when he saw the bandage on his arm - _this time the right_ \- and all the blood that covered him and the other man kneeling before him. Only when Chan was certain that Seungmin would not fall again, he removed his firm hand from his shoulder. 

❝ What do you remember ? ❞ asked Chan seriously as he got up, taking one of the towels at his side and throwing it on the floor to wipe the blood under the puzzled gaze of the brunette.

❝ I. . . ❞ he frowned, searching in his memory. 

❝ I remember talking to Innie, ❞ he began, ignoring the almost paternal look full of protection Chan was shooting at him. 

❝ The rest is a little fuzzy. . . I went up to my room and found a bottle of alcohol on my desk- I probably didn’t think, thought I’d just have a drink, and I probably emptied half the bottle along the way. ❞

❝ Emptied, ❞ said the oldest, attracting the confused orbs of the youngest. ❝ You emptied the _whole bottle_ , it rolled on the floor next to your bed. It was empty. ❞

❝ Hm. . . ❞

He startled, feeling a hand firmly gripping his wrist, making him whine with pain.

❝ Either you’re stupid or you were too drunk to notice, ❞ He whispered as he pointed his arm at him, and Seungmin could feel each small slices under the bandages. They were not precise and, above all, on the wrong arm. ❝ Answer me sincerely. Were you planning to take your life ? ❞

Seungmin opened his lips to utter his answer, but no sound came out of it. _How could he know? He remembered nothing._ Pressing his eyebrows together, he tried to gather all his thoughts, even the craziest ones, and sighed. 

❝ I don’t know if that’s what I had in mind when I did it because I don’t remember. Not even a second of it. ❞ He murmured as he blinked, turning his gaze to his left arm, whose only marks there had been deep enough to leave scars paler than his skin tone. But everything had been treated and healed for a long time, since that day in the hospital.

❝ But I can assure you. If you’re worried about my health, no, I’m not going to take my life. I want to see this mission through, and like you, I am frustrated to see how low I have fallen. ❞ He sighed, finally raising his eyes to Chan, who had crouched down in front of him. ❝ I made a promise. I will not do it again, I swear. ❞

He didn't knew if it was because of the hurt and sincere tone in his voice, but the oldest finally let go of his wrist. Seungmin quickly drew his arm against him, looking down at the bandage, sighing. Again, he should go through the healing steps for a stupid action. If at other times he had felt liberated after having committed the act despite the fact that he was still of this world - _by pure miracle_ -, he had only regret as emotion this time. 

❝ Perfect, ❞ Chan said before slamming him back into the wall, pulling out a surprised gasp from Seungmin, feeling his hand firmly hitting the wall right next to his head. ❝ If you’re really going to keep going, I’ll back you up and help you. We’re a team. But if you go lower than you are now, and hurt _people_ in your fall, don’t count on me. ❞

Seungmin only began to breathe again when Chan straightened up, wiping his blood-covered hands on his blue jeans without any concern. He was back to his usual cold character, no doubt. He cleared his throat, defining very well _who_ wanted to mean the oldest in his monologue, and nodded his head when the redhead rested his gaze on him.

The older one reached out to him, a hand that the hacker took after a few seconds of hesitation before taking and then got straightened up.

❝ You should go wash the rest of the blood, but be careful with the plaster. You have food and water in your room. If you want to stay locked up, _that’s your choice_ , but feed and hydrate yourself. If you want to go down with the others, hide your mistake. ❞

_Mistake_. . . The taller of the two males nodded slowly before leaving the bathroom, his legs still a little frail. _How long had he been unconscious ? And how long had he been in there ?_

_Minutes, maybe, or hours_. He slightly sighed, crossing the small passage while holding his wounded arm carefully against him with his other arm shielding it.

He cleaned himself up and took the time to do everything Chan had ordered him to do, to his own surprise. Staying upstairs for the next few hours.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Seungmin hadn't joined them all day, but none of them went to disturb him when _Kangaroo_ informed them that he was fine. That he had food, water and that he just needed to rest. 

Jeongin found this information suspicious, especially when Chan put a long time on the first floor this morning and had only returned after taking a shower. But he doesn’t ask any questions, trusting the older one. It was not uncommon for Seung to need time to be alone anyway.

And he didn’t want to get carried away with him again.

* * *

The last ones still awake were installed in the living room near the entrance hall to speak without awakening the sleeping ones on the upper floor, laughing and talking about various subjects. 

Hyunjin was sitting on one of the widest sofas with Felix and Jeongin sitting on either side of his body, and with them was Lino and their explosives expert sitting on the opposite couch. The youngest of the five had already been dozing for a while before his head ended up resting gently on the shoulder of the spy, soft as a feather.

The taller one raised his eyebrows with surprise, having rather expected the second blond to do something of the kind, given his jovial character and his touchy habits that they had begun to share during the day under the eyes of the snipper. Minho did not seem to disapprove of their budding friendly relationship, leaving Felix bond and flap his wings by himself. He would only intervene if he would be in danger. 

A smile, however, found its place on his lips, sliding his thin fingers to repel the strands of hair that slid before the eyes of the youngest. He worried for a few seconds when he saw him whining in his sleep, but blew when he saw that he was still asleep. He didn't seem to cling to him like a leech as he was doing with Chan this morning when he saw them, but had not fled the contact either. _Probably unconsciously_ , Hyunjin thought, remembering when Jeongin had firmly pushed back the one with the piercings when he tried to hold him in his arms the first days of their arrival.

❝ _He finally fell asleep ?_ ❞ whispered Felix with a curious glance from the other side of Hyunjin, smiling at the sleepy face of the teenager. 

❝ It would seem. But he’s going to have a severe neck ache if he sleeps on me like that, ❞ he replies, backing up a bit on the couch, slipping an arm around the shoulders of the youngest who was still asleep. Snatching a giggle from the boy sitting next to Lino. 

❝ Unfair, ❞ he said, approaching the bottleneck of his beer to his lips, succeeding in gathering a laugh from each person around him.

Hyunjin settled his hand over his mouth, trying to hold back his laughter as the fifteen-year-old complained in his sleep. Straightening up to sit, staring at them, wrinkled eyes and tired face despite slight readable anger. 

❝ I'm sorry- ❞ giggles the blond as the younger one rubs his eyelids. Smiling at him he added, ❝ You should go and sleep, you're exhausted. ❞

❝ Hm- I’m going with him then, I’m tired too. ❞ Minho answered for the little fox, straightening himself up, stretching out a little while the young man beside him glanced at him. ❝ _Anh_ , already ? So soon ? ❞

The tone he had used very clearly communicated his desire for the older of the two brothers to spend a little more time with them, _or rather with him_ , receiving a smile from him. 

❝ You want me to stay ? ❞ he said, only to be surprised by the direct answer that was offered to him. ❝ Unless you invite me into bed, yeah. ❞

Felix choked on his drink by staring at his brother, seeing very well the red which had slipped on the cheekbones of the taller. He frowned at them.

❝ I sleep in the same room, d'you remember ? ❞ 

❝ Why don’t you take mine then ? ❞ proposed the smallest one in the room, while Minho laughed when he saw the disgusted look on Jeongin’s face.

❝ Come on, I’ll come back later. ❞ He says to avoid the subject of the beds, preparing to put his hand on Jeongin’s shoulder only to receive a slap over it. He blinked a few times, but sighed silently, letting the teenager rise at his own pace and climb the stairs with him. 

Once alone in the room, or at least without the others, Jeongin yawned slowly. He could see Bang Chan already asleep in one of the two beds, and he slipped to the bathroom to brush his teeth. . . 

A shriek escaped from his throat when he noticed the bloodstains on the floor, retreating sharply and striking his back against Chan’s chest in his way.

❝ What’s wrong with you ? ❞ the older one asked worried, only wearing pajama bottoms, watching the younger one turn towards him with round eyes. He followed his trembling finger pointing at the ground and sighed, bringing him closer to him. ❝ _God, don't worry_. It's nothing- ❞

❝ How can you say that ? ❞ quickly answered the youngest with a concerned voice, letting his orbs make back and forth between the blood and the oldest. ❝ Chan. . . Is that your blood ? What’s it doing here ? ❞

The taller couldn't stop Jeongin, letting him examine him to see if he was injured. . . _but nothing._ He passed a hand in his face, grimacing, not having enjoyed being pulled out of bed. 

❝ It’s nothing, just. . . a nosebleed, nothing more mundane. ❞

❝ I don’t believe you, ❞

❝ I swear, I just forgot to clean up. Don’t worry. ❞ _he didn't believe him_ , frowning when the red-haired male dragged him to hold him in his arms. 

He ended up washing his teeth, the reason why he had entered there first, and closed the light from the bathroom when he slipped back into the bedroom. Chan was sitting at the edge of his bed, with his hand on his forehead when the youngest changed. Ending up with only a pair of shorts, placing his phone on the bedside table when his Hyung snapped his fingers to attract his attention.

❝ Come here, ❞

He didn't have to say more that the youngest was already slipping into his bed, turning his back to him. The taller smiles lightly, sliding an arm around him to big spoon him and gently lull him. Humming with his face right behind his, closing his eyes only when his breathing becomes regular and soft, plunging back into the world of dreams in turn. 

However, this time he was greeted by grotesque images, nightmares and bad memories. His restless sleep did not seem to disturb the youngest who had nestled in his arms as close as possible to relax him.

* * *
    
    
      ________
     (_]----[_)
    .~ |.''.|
    ~. |'..'|
     `~`----`  
    
      
    
      
    
    

Christopher opened his tired eyes when his phone rang, complaining as his hand tried to catch the mobile blindly under his pillow. Luckily, Innie hadn’t woken up. 

His hand finally captured the telephone, presenting it in front of his face. . . He whistled between his teeth in the light, trying not to move as much as possible by reading the notification.

**◤ ◥**

**05:56 AM**

**Thursday October 11**

**◣ ◢**

. . .

**【 NEW MESSAGE FROM : Woojin 】**

* * *

_I know it’s early, forgive me for the time  
I hope I don’t wake you  
It’s been a few days since you’ve   
given me news...  
Is everything all right?_

I am fine.   
Things have been more complicated  
that expected.

_You scared the shit out of me!_  
_There’s something I can do_  
_to help you out?_

Don’t worry about me.   
What are you doing up at this hour?

_Oh_

**[. . .]**

_Sorry._  
_I couldn’t sleep with all that thunder._  
_What about you?_

I was asleep.

_Chan ! . . ._

_Sorry_

It’s all right.   
I’ve slept enough anyway.

_Hmm_  
_How many hours is that?_

At least 3

_For God’s sake._  
_How can you play sports_  
_with so little rest?_

I've got my ways. 

* * *

A sweet laugh crossed his lips, doing his best not to awaken the sleeping at his side. 

He met Woojin online a year ago. By pure coincidence, and yet they were still in contact despite knowing barely only their first names. Chan had no idea what the older one might look like, but knowing that his little touch of anonymity was there too, he was not the least disturbed. 

He sighed, however, feeling ill to lie to his correspondent. He thought he was at some sort of sports camp, military or something like that. 

He had better not know what he was doing, where he was, and why he was there. Woojin had always been worried and concerned about his health and well-being, and Chan could only find it adorable. They hardly knew each other from an outside angle, they could cross-path in the street every day without even knowing it, but they were so close. 

_Maybe one day, maybe,_ he thought. _When all this will be over._

He chatted for a few more hours with his friend, only glancing away when noises were heard in the hallway and the other rooms. Looking down at Jeongin as he awoke, smiling and letting the boy get up and wake up at his own pace. Offering a final goodbye to the person on the other side of the phone by closing his. 

_Still 355 days before the beginning._

_But also before the end._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this fourth chapter, be attentive about the next one coming ! ♡  
> Please leave a comment if you have questions about the story or just chat with me about it~ ♡  
> Have a wonderful day. ♡
> 
> ― Yoon


End file.
